June 2013
if your feminism isn’t anti-racism it’s white supremacy
I’m constantly thinking of the days passing and of art and reading but I haven’t read and other important things like money management and saving which is a work in progress, I’m pretty good with it, looking to get better, I think of travelling and I think of my future loft and how I will furnish it and how I will invite my friends over and cook for them and just have a good time. I think about staying up all night, I think of stability you know that perfect balance of just enough to live feeling, that nice give and take, I think of creations and things I have yet to create, I think about art projects and things that I’m conjuring up but don’t have the means to do so yet,…or the confidence? I think about business cards and longterm plans regarding my career and interests and my love for interaction and language and I dream often you know the way I mean? not sleeping, dreaming but not with my eyes closed either. I think of my next move, I think of all the things I havent done and I think of why I hold myself back and then I get inspired by 16 year olds and wish I had it like that when I was 16 then I think about how I’m just glad to be inspired anyway, and I have ideas that I’ve written down but need to write down more and execute and I’m working on myself and body and loving this vessel , this beautiful pod of skin and bones.
I think of walking barefoot on cobblestone streets in a different country and picking flowers and riding a bike and nearly falling (because of the cobblestones) but still riding on that street anyway, I think of future friends and imaginary friends that you think about when you picture yourself in these situations and you picture hanging out with your current friends and going out for lunch with a new friend or few new friends hoping one of them says “my treat!” as you begin to place your order being mindful of the prices and not freeloading from this kind gesture but being extremely happy you got free lunch all at the same time.
I think about my stance and the strut I’ll have, I have one now but it’ll be different then, it’ll be lived in more and explored lots, it’ll fly and cool and effortless and I’ll feel fly and cool and effortless.
I’ll lay on my carpeted living room floor with pillows all around and pretend their clouds and fall asleep and if I don’t have a nice view I’ll pretend I do or paint the ceiling at least or something, I’ll improvise and it’ll be nice.
and I’ll get by and make it and live up to my own expectations which fluctuate but not too much, their all in the same ballpark and they feel close and they feel nice to think about and I believe in myself and I commend myself for the strides I’ve taken so far and will continue to do.
….Robb Bank$ looking nada like Jean-Michel Basquiat, rien!!